so life. and birthdays.
i’ve been thinking a lot about those things. indulge me while i ponder.
27 is a weird number to say. the weekend was full of dinner parties and birthday lunches and holiday cookouts and really more food than any one individual should ever indulge in, but whatever it’s the weekend and it’s my birthday so ya i’ll have that cake and that pasta and those chips and that hamburger.
but in between stuffing my face, i kept answering the question “yes I’m 27, this is my 27th birthday, i turned 27, yep 27.” It just seemed strange to be saying the number 27. Shouldn’t I be like, way more mature by now? Like, i don’t know, an adult? whatever that is?
but after the food and the talking and the laughter and the fireworks and the sun, when I finally laid down in my comfy sheets with my precious husband snoring next to me and my precious puppy sneaking on the bed after said husband went to sleep so he wouldn’t know said puppy was disobeying and getting on the bed…after finally stopping for a minute and really thinking.
i decided that 27 is a pretty great number. it sure isn’t 20, when i had no clue what i was doing and it seemed like i was just running at breakneck speed in total darkness, hoping i stumbled onto the right path. and it’s not 16 when i had no idea who i was or what that even meant, and why it mattered in the first place. and really, anything would be better than 25 when you’re laying in a hospital bed wondering if you’ll even get to SEE 26, much less 27.
no 27 is going to be alright. i’m slowly starting to let go of the plans and the control and the self-inflicted “life stages” that i should be at. I’m learning that just because the Lord has a plan for me, doesn’t mean I have to know every detail right this minute. i’m realizing that nothing, and i mean nothing, will ever turn out exactly the way i expected and that’s ok.
and the best part about 27? i actually like myself. I like who i’m becoming, i like the peace i feel when i consider what i’m doing and where i’m going and who i’m hoping to be. it’s a great thing, really. to like yourself. everyone should try it sometime.
does this mean that everything is hunky dory and i’m never going to be found crying over a to do list ever again? of course not, i’ll probably be doing it next week, that’s just who i am. i still don’t feel like an adult, i still don’t know what i’m doing, and i still embarrass the crap out of myself on a daily basis. but i’m learning to enjoy these things and to appreciate where I’m at and what i’m doing.
and that’s a pretty great thing. for 27.