wedding…discussions

IMG_8541Jared and I had our first wedding knock down drag out fight discussion the other day. Over platters. Well no technically my mother and I had a discussion over platters, during which Jared watched his previously sane fiancé turn into a banshee and start bawling. over platters. after which he calmly walked away and left me to figure out how many platters we might possibly need for the food table on my own. which then caused our first discussion, because how could you walk 10 feet away from my screeching about platters to sit down on the sofa and pretend like i wasn’t acting like i had escaped the insane asylum, i needed you to help me count non existent platters for an unknown number of people, displayed in an unknown way, on an unknown table, which would be upholding an unknown item of food! the injustice!

I’d like to think that i’ve now got the bridezilla out of my system and this situation will never occur again, but we still have cutlery to discuss so i wouldn’t hold my breath.

IMG_8542IMG_8560 IMG_8546 IMG_8548 IMG_8552 IMG_8556 IMG_8557Warby Parker Tenley sunnies c.o//Riffraff geo dress c.o (sold out, but have you seen the new Dawn to Dusk look book? SO many cute dresses for Spring, i could squeal like a pig)// Ruche velvet mary janes (old, similar here)

 

werd.

IMG_8535this skirt is officially one of the best purchases I have ever made. high waisted, long length, and a perfect fit. i love when that happens! read my tips on buying from instashops here

IMG_8518i’m just going to be honest today and tell you that i have no words to give. it’s been kind of hectic around here lately, with trying to set up our apartment and getting things ready for the wedding and im getting into my busy season at work and i’m starting to feel like a wet rag that’s been twisted to wring all the water out. IMG_8528Don’t get me wrong, i love it all and i’m so grateful for this season, but lately it’s felt like this blog has been pushed farther and farther down the list of importance and i’m sorry for that. this blog has become my safe refuge, my sounding board, my word-vomit receptacle if you will. and i want to be able to give it, and you lovely readers, all of my best but sometimes that just doesn’t seem to be an option. Bear with me friends! We’ll make it.  IMG_8511IMG_8503forever 21 hat (old, similar here)// UO crop top (last summer, similar here)//vintage skirt via Honey Doe (similar here), Lulus chunky heels (old, similar here)

simplify

Jared and I moved his things into our apartment this weekend! woohoo! Everything is getting so real and official, it’s kind of crazy.

Since our home sweet apartment is going to be somewhat on the minuscule size, I’ve been working on downsizing and simplifying my stuff considerably. My closet is the #1 place that I’ve been working on, getting rid of whats unnecessary and trying to make smart purchases that I will love for a long time to come.

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This dress was definitely one of the items that made the cut. It’s just to simple and easy-breezy, and who can say no to that color? It also helps that I can wear it multiple places and ways. Definitely a plus when you have limited space!

IMG_8469 IMG_8470 IMG_8482 IMG_8487 IMG_8491Urban Outfitters sunnies (old, similar) // RiffRaff dress c.o (sold out of hot pink but theres this one and this one, and look at this one and this one! so many cute options) // Forever 21 flats// Versona studded clutch

 

 

 

dangerous faith

IMG_8449I’ve been thinking a lot about trust lately, and the magnitude of that word. It’s just this tiny little word that has such enormous potential, ya know? trust can forge bonds, create legacies, diffuse negativity. but mistrust? mistrust can breed jealousy, force disconnection, create fear.

IMG_8418 I look at this season in my life that I’m currently in, with all of these new and exciting chapters that are just waiting to be cracked open, and I see all the different variables that could produce different outcomes. There is a lot of unknown for us right now. And I will fully admit, it can be somewhat terrifying at times.  IMG_8443

But then I think about that word. trust. Jared and I trust each other, absolutely. We’re in this new crazy adventure together, 100%, and i could just squeeze his little head off when I think about how wonderful he is. He’s kind of great.

But we also trust in our Heavenly Father. We have faith that He is guiding and protecting us, that we will never be alone. He will endow us with the strength and wisdom and favor to weather any storm, carry us through any unknown. And that my friend, is dangerous. What could we be capable if we just trusted?

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Seriously, think about it. If you had complete confidence in your gifts and abilities, if you truly knew that Christ was walking before you, if you really believed that “no weapon formed against me shall prosper”, what would you attempt?

Trust is dangerous. We are capable of the impossible, when we trust. When we have faith.

and i? I want to be dangerous.

IMG_8419Oxford trunk blazer(previously worn here) (sold out, similar here)// Target tee (size up for the slouchy look)// Bella Vita necklace via Blue 7// gap jeans (got them on sale, boo the sales over)// Shoe Dazzle boots (old, similar here)

what i’m thinking while we take pictures

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“stare off into space, for some reason it looks good in pictures. don’t raise your eyebrow. geez it’s cold”

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“eeehhh my arms are so heavy i can’t stand straight. geez it’s cold”

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“more staring at the ground, look i have pockets! geez it’s cold”

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“aaaaand look up once to double check Jared isn’t taking pictures of the sky…”

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“and back down. geez it’s cold.”

BTW I friggin love this sweater, it’s ginormous and perfectly acceptable to cuddle up and get lost in. Also, for maybe only the second time ever, I wore these rain boots when it was actually raining. Keep in mind i wear these rain boots very very, obscenely, often. watchagonnado?

Sammy Dress sweater c.o (out of stock, similar) // Forever 21 dress (old, similar) // Blue 7 necklace// Joules wellies c.o

Ankle Boots

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I stinkin love ankle boots, throw them on with just about anything and they look darling. Here are three of my favorite ways to style ankle boots:

1// with a sloppy cuffed jean.

don’t ever think it, this style is meant to be laid back and chill. perfect with a worn in tee and a couple long necklaces.

2// with socks and a dress

not everyone is on board with the sock movement, but i gotta tell ya, i’m 100%. i think they look so sweet peeking out from a pair of ankle boots. pair both with a simple summer frock and you’ve got a perfect weekend outfit.

3// with shorts

there’s  nothing better than throwing on a good pair of shorts, but they can seem a bit too casual sometimes. add a pair of ankle boots and you’ve gone from “running to get more milk” to an actual outfit. genius.

i cleaned out my photo album and found a random outfit post

IMG_6478it’s been too windy and too cold and i’ve been too lazy to take any outfit pictures this week. but then i remembered these that i took a way long time ago (like LAST YEAR guys. ancient days). and i said oh ya! these are pretty cute!

thus, your style post for the week. you’re welcome.

IMG_6494hmmm so life lately. we’re in that weird stage of season changing that I for one secretly adore. spring and winter are kind of duking it out right now for who’s going to be boss and we all know spring is totally going to kick butt, but winter keeps hangin in there, holding on by it’s icy cold fingertips.

this time is so similar to when fall gives in to winter, and yet it’s very different. you might wake up to a cool morning but there’s a tiny ray of hope mixed in with the icy breathes of fog in the air. a little spring promise.

IMG_6491in the fall, the season change can almost seem melancholy as the days become shorter and the air becomes cooler. but spring. ahh spring. each day holds just a sliver more of sunshine, each breeze brings just a bit more warmth. it’s like spring is giving us tiny sips of what’s to come, to keep us going through these last few days of ice. just a tease each morning, so that we’ll look forward to the next day, and the next day, just to see if today is the day that spring finally arrives.

i’m all for it spring. you can just keep on comin on. i dont mind a bit.

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dont mind my white legs, they’re just going to blind you really fast

target beanie (sold out but i like this one), old (i mean old) jean jacket (similar) // ASOS swing dress (the best invention ever) (sold out, similar) // Sam Moon scarf (similar) //Shoe dazzle booties (sold out, these are cute)

things my doctor didn’t tell me

It seems really strange to be posting these snow pictures today, when it’s supposed to be 65 degrees, but oh well. It just makes me appreciate the Spring weather even more!

IMG_8008 SO things my doctor didn’t tell me (HA you thought Hospital Hooplah was over? No chance my friend, it’s like a stone dropped in a lake. The stone might have sunk to the bottom already, but the water rings are still moving). “i’m going to gut you like a fish to perform this surgery and when you wake up, you will have 25 stitches across your stomach” might have been a good idea to mention before i woke up post-op and almost passed out from the sight. “you’re going to be so weak by the time you get out of here, you won’t be able to walk up the stairs” literally surprised the crap out of me. i had no idea i would be so weak.

IMG_8013but both of these paled in comparison to “three months after your surgery, you will start shedding hair like a bear after hibernation”

the whole shedding thing has been the worst. I know, I’m such a brat, boohoo I’m losing a couple of hairs, some people don’t have any hair at all. I know. I’m fully aware of how lucky and blessed I am. but. I’m a girl. and my hair is kind of my thing, and I’ve always been very honest about the fact that if I have a bad hair day, i might as well take a sick day because it just rocks my world.

and it hasn’t just been a couple of hairs. i’m being honest about this because hopefully some poor girl will read this and be more prepared for the Shedding Apocalypse than I was. Because standing in the shower and watching as massive clump after massive clump of hair goes swirling down the drain is not something you want to be unprepared for.

IMG_8011you’re probably looking at these pictures and thinking, “what the heck is she talking about” but THANK THE LORD for hair extensions my friend. so many extensions on my head. I know this is silly, and I feel so vain just writing this all down, but it’s a part of my journey. and it’s pretty much sucked. And I think that’s ok. It’s ok to admit that some things just suck. It’s ok to cry over a couple (hundred) strands of hair. have yourself a cry. and then get up, get yourself some fake hairs, and keep going. Admit that you’re scared your going to look like Gollum from LOTR soon, and then keep going. I think sometimes we think we have to be strong 24/7. we can never admit to pain or fear or sadness. and that’s just not true. The Bible says to “share each other’s burdens”. You can’t do that unless you admit you have a burden to begin with. (and then return the favor!)

But then you have to keep going. You cant dwell on your fears or your pain, or your hair shedding. You believe in the hope of tomorrow, you believe in healing and in God’s plan and you sing sing SING!!! to those little hairs so that maybe they’ll be like that plant experiment and grow big and strong, unlike the unloved, un-sung-to hairs that wilted and stopped growing.

I’m going to have Tangled hair guys.

IMG_8015target sweater  and oxford shirt, (both on sale!) asos velvet pants, heelsdotcom boots

 

for anyone who ever goes through surgery, here’s what you should know:

- about three months after surgery, you will start shedding like crazy. some people say it’s from the anesthesia, some say from the shock of surgery itself, whatever. all you need to know is that you will lose a bunch of hair.

- you won’t shed in any place that you would actually be OK with losing hair, like your legs or pits. Nope. Just your head. Good news! You get to keep your eyelashes and eyebrows.

- it won’t look like your balding, like great big patches of no hair. more like your hair just super super super thins out. i’ve probably lost about 1/3 of my hair, maybe more. I woke up one morning and started losing handfuls of hair in the shower, which went on for about a month, and then one day it just stopped. I had to cut about 4 inches off the ends though, they were just so scraggly and sad looking. BUT that doesn’t really matter when you’re wearing extensions anyway!

- GOOD NEWS! IT WILL COME BACK! I am here to tell you: don’t have a panic attack, don’t shave your head and start wearing wigs. IT COMES BACK. I’ve got about an inch long halo of hairs all over my head right now. Not really noticeable at all, except right after I blow dry my hair and they stick up around my part. I kind of like seeing them, waving around and growing all happy up there. I encourage them, keep growing little friends!

things you can do to help: biotin. drink lots of water, eat lots of healthy foods (which you should be doing already). take deep breaths. stop panicking. buy some hair extensions. wait for it to grow back. i know. the worst advice ever. but that’s about all you can do.

 

Valentine’s Day Outfit Inspiration

vday inspo

I’m linking up with Shabby Loves Chic and Sincerely Truly Scrumptious to show you three different V-Day outfits today. Between the three of us, we encompass quite a wide range of style; i love how different our looks ended up! Each of these would be darling for a Valentine’s party, date, or whatever you end up doing with your day of love!

Would you wear any of these outfits?

Don’t forget to check out the other gal’s posts for their complete looks!

IMG_7911 IMG_7916 IMG_7917 IMG_7921 IMG_7925 IMG_7939Forever 21 top and sweater (kids section, i’m wearing a Large)// Shabby Apple skirt// forever 21 shoes (similar)

 

healed.

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6 months, two surgeries, one postponed wedding, countless doctor visits, and one Tootie later, I am officially deemed healthy and whole (minus a colon). Monday afternoon I went in to the hospital for my final surgery to replace my small intestine back inside my stomach where it belonged. If you didn’t know, since September I have been living with an illeostomy (or Tootie as I liked to call it), a piece of your small intestine that is placed through a hole in your stomach and empties into a bag stuck to your skin. This surgery was a necessary step in my diagnosis of Crohn’s disease, which you can read about here.

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to say that I am relieved that this chapter in my life is finally over is a bit of an understatement. there were moments of fear, embarrassment, pain, complete impotence and a total lack of self confidence that made me truly wish that I just didn’t have to be me anymore.

but…i made it. 

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I am so much stronger that I have ever realized. i have led a beautiful and very blessed existence these past 25 years and a part of me has always wondered if i would be able to withstand adversity when it hit me because of how loved and protected i have always been.  but i realize now that it doesn’t work that way. being loved and blessed doesn’t make you weak. i could handle everything that was thrown at me through this because I knew that i had a family who loved me and a Father who was protecting me. Even when i didn’t understand, when everything felt too overwhelming to handle, I knew that I wasn’t alone, that I was loved, and that I was being cared for. i truly do not know how i would have come out of this if i hadn’t had that confidence in a God that is bigger, more powerful, and so much more loving, than me.

While i would never voluntarily go through this again, I’m grateful for the strength this time has given me, for the confidence in my faith and the confidence in myself.  But it’s time to look forward, to plan for the future, and to get hitched to the love of my life!! wedding plans here we come!

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5th and elm hat// nordstrom scarf (similar) //forever 21 jacket (similar) // velvet dress via bleu clementine (she has a blue one that is very similar on sale!)// blink ankle boots // sam moon bag