Two trends I just can’t seem to get the hang of: the middle part and the moto vest. while i’m entranced by both i just haven’t been able to put my own spin on them. and if i’m going to jump on board a trend, it’s going to have to feel like me. ya know?
but today’s outfit came pretty close to “nailed it” with both. i just happened to have decided to forgo fighting the (losing) battle with my hair and just let the chips fall where they may; surprisingly, they chose the middle ground. very mature of you hairs.
I also went super simple with the moto vest which I liked a lot better than anything else I had tried so far (things I had tried: staring at it. laying it on the bed. laying it on the floor. wearing it over my pajamas. wearing it over my wedding dress.)
maybe i should take advice from my hair and my moto vest and just let things be what they be. of course, this is hair that has been dyed every shade BUT it’s natural color, and a motorcycle vest for a girl who’s never even sat on a motorcycle, in an outfit that resembles the Hamburgular’s, so take it with a grain of salt.
on the cheesiest day of the year I’m writing a post about love. what does that say about me? i’ll admit it, i’m cheese-city. the cheesiest. i ooze cheese.
but i’ve been thinking a lot about our love story and my unique road to finding that love and I felt like I needed to write this down. and what better time than Valentines?
i had a somewhat difficult road to “happily ever after”. i made poor choices in relationships and i trusted my heart to people who had no business taking care of it. i was devastated by betrayal and i became somewhat cynical of the idea of “the one”. I decided that if you’re lucky, you find a person who is somewhat compatible and then you struggle to make things work. my throat is thick with tears and a part of me wants to roll my eyes at myself as i write this but it’s true. i had accepted that marriage would be difficult, but i gave up on the idea of a God ordained relationship, one with purpose and connection and destiny.
but then something beautiful happened. God literally showed me my own stupidity. he took my brokenness and my despair and He said, “it’s ok. you have forgotten how much i love you. but it’s ok. i know”. He wrapped me in His arms and made me whole and new.
and he gave me Jared. He took our mistakes and our past and He created this beautiful, wonderful, perfect love that could never have happened without His help because we are human and stubborn and would never have been able to find our way to each other. He gave me this man who holds me like I am something precious, who looks at me like I am something beautiful, and respects me like I am something worthy. I was crying, lost in darkness, and God took my hands, turned me around, and said, “here. here is your future. here is what i have had planned for you all along.” I opened my eyes and I just knew. Jared was the one. Jared was my love, made only for me. And I was made for him.
it’s true when they say “when you know you know”. it was like every doubt, every fear, all the chaos and confusion just disappeared. all the pieces fell into place, every obstacle resolved itself, there was just peace and joy and an undeniable feeling of right.
so i’m telling you. you may be hurting. you may have lost faith. you may not believe. God does. He loves you, He has a perfect, wonderful plan for you. It may not be what you expected, it WONT be what you thought you wanted, but it will be beautiful and perfect everything you ever dreamed of. don’t give up. don’t settle. wait for that perfect one. it exists.
If life happened the way we planned and body parts worked the way they were supposed to yesterday would have been our wedding day. I feel like I’ve had a pretty good outlook on this entire colon situation but if there was any one part that made me want to throw the biggest fit this side of Toddler and Tiaras, it would be the postponement of our wedding.
Because it’s not really even about the wedding, although I won’t lie and say I’m not excited about planning all the little details. But if the wedding was the only part I was upset about postponing, I’d just throw myself a big party and be done with it. It would definitely be cheaper, and have quite a bit less life altering after effects involved than a wedding.
It’s about the life after the wedding. It’s about building morning traditions and saying goodnight and not having to leave him. It’s about checks with both our names on them and both those last names being the same(although I will be keeping my maiden name as part of my legal name, but that’s for another blog post!) It’s about building a life together, starting an adventure and before you tell me that marriage is hard and blah blah blah, remember that I’m young and in love and I haven’t had the chance to learn if marriage is hard or not because my blessed colon postponed that learning experience so let me revel in my romantic marital dreams alright?
As I was feeling a bit down in the dumps about yesterday (understandably I think), Jared and I made a special day out of it and went hiking in the Wichita Mountains. (Since the weather decided to rub it in my wedding-less face and give us the most BEAUTIFUL 75 degree weather this weekend.) This area has become very special to us; it’s where Jared proposed and where we took our engagement photos. We wandered around and enjoyed the changing colors and while it wasn’t exactly what I had been expecting to do on November 17th, it turned out to be a pretty fantastic day. Jared put it all into perspective when he said, “I’m just thankful you’re still alive to be my fiancé. Life doesn’t always happen the way we plan, but we still have each other, and we’re going to stay together no matter what.”
I sure do love that guy. He’s pretty smart.
necessities for a hiking adventure: Arnold Palmer and beef jerky. Oh and a snuggly blanket for wallowing in the sun.
- 99% of the time I will choose to read the book rather than see the movie
- I wear inappropriate shoes, like 5 inch heels to a basketball game, or rain boots when it’s not raining.
- I am highly emotional. The fact that I am aware of this does not keep me from working myself into an absolute dither at least once a week.
- I’m incredibly disorganized and messy at home. At my office I keep lists of my lists. It’s a paradox that I for one am not that interested in figuring out.
- If I’m having a bad hair day it will literally ruin my life. I would rather have to explain that I was an hour and a half late to work because I couldn’t get my hair fixed right, then go into work with ugly hair. Make me run out of gas on the side of the road but, for the love of God, don’t make me go to work with an unsatisfactory head of hair.
This story is so over the top ridiculous and embarrassing that you’d think I was making this crap up but, alas, it is all true. I even have a witness in the form of my little sister to validate the extreme levels of embarrassment that I can bring myself to. But I’m going askew.
Let me start off by saying that I have never been the best of car-keepers. In high school my car was frequently referred to as “the black hole” , “the bottomless pit” or “Veruca”. That last one has nothing to do with the state of my car, it was just the nickname I gave my blue PT Cruiser when I got confused and thought Veruca Salt was the chick in Willy Wonka that got turned into a blueberry (blue car: blue girl: Veruca. Get it? Just to clarify, it’s actually Violet who turns violet. You’d think I’d be able to remember that. I’m going askew again.)
So when I made the New Year’s Resolution to keep my car clean, it wasn’t your typical lazy resolution you choose just so you can feel accomplished when you achieve your goal the first week of January and then you never have to think of NYE again until the next year. No this was the mother of all NYR’s, similar to “I”m going to curb my shopping addiction” or “I’m going to start the couch to 5K program…when it gets warmer outside.”
In typical New Year’s Day fervor, I woke up on January 1 and decided that I’d take my car over to the car wash up the street and get the poor girl all spiffied up and vacuumed out. But since it was 9 AM on New Year’s Day and no one in their right mind wanted to be functioning at that time of the morning on New Year’s Day, I decided to venture out in the sweats I had slept in, with my dirty hair I’d last washed in the year before and which looked like something could have been growing inside of it, and just a pair of large sunglasses to hide the fact that I not only had forgone the ritual of face washing, I had left the remains of thirteen layers of mascara and extra strength glitter eyeshadow in the general vicinity of my face. Hey, I was up and practicing one NY Resolution, I couldn’t be expected to also shower!
I somehow convinced my little sister to come with me, and we hopped in the car to drive the 5 minutes up the street. As I waited in the car for my turn in the drive-through car wash, I noticed a guy directing the cars onto the little hook machinery gizmo that pulled your car through the car wash as you sat mesmerized inside. As we got closer to the front I suddenly had the horrible pleasure of recognizing the Car Wash Guy as my first high school boyfriend and first kiss (ironically, at a New Year’s Eve party my freshman year). I hadn’t seen the guy since graduation and while I had no desire to renew our relationship, (I had continued to grow from my 5 foot height while, alas, he did not) I had even less of a desire for him to recognize me in my current troll like state of post NYE shennanagery.
Of course, as soon as I had processed these thoughts and uttered them aloud to my sister, it was my turn to go through the car wash. Determined to avoid eye contact and therefor a potentially awkward “oh hey how are you, ya I’m just driving around in dirty sweats with a false eyelash still stuck to my cheek” conversation, I shoved my extra large sunglasses ever more firmly onto my face, fixed my gaze straight forward, and slowly inched my way up to Car Wash Guy.
I knew that God hated me when CW Guy started waving at me to roll my window down. As soon as I did I could tell he recognized me (you can just tell sometimes right?) but instead of acting like a normal human being who is legally considered an adult and should therefore have basic motor skills, I proceeded to act like my brain had suddenly fallen out of my head and refused to make eye contact with the poor guy, while forgetting to put my car in park as I rolled down the window. I ended up realizing I was still slowly moving forward when the underside of my car met the hookey machinery gizmo with a loud screeching noise and I had to fumble around, reversing, almost running poor CW guy over, yelling apologies out the half rolled down window and generally acting like an absolute moron, all while continuing to avoid eye contact.
After I finally got my car back into Car Wash Preparation Mode, CWG walked up to my now fully rolled down window and silently handed me a wipe to clean my dash off with. He then pointed towards the car wash entrance and I proceeded to put the icing on the cake by giggling and saying, ” oh hi!” and then slamming my foot onto the gas to get me out of this horrible place, for the love of God!” by then I had completely dismissed the rolled down window but luckily CWG took pity on my apparent insanity and yelled, “ROLL UP YOUR WINDOW!” right before I entered the car wash.
Old Navy jacket// Target Chambray// Target cords (DIY cut offs) // Joules wellies c.o.
I’d like to say the story ended with me driving away and never frequenting that car wash ever again, nor ever running into Car Wash Guy ever again, but that would be someone else’s life so of course that didn’t happen. After the car wash I drove over to use the free vacuum station and CWG, perhaps taking pity on his once sane now clearly demented high school girlfriend, abandoned his post at Car Wash Preparation and walked over to my car saying, “Kaleigh? That is you right? I recognized your car”. At that point I could have happily ripped my eyelashes out one by one, but somehow I was able to string a few coherent sentences together while staying far enough away that he (hopefully) didn’t notice I hadn’t brushed my teeth that morning. We eventually parted ways, Car Wash Guy to resume his car washing duties and me to resume throwing remnants of the entire Sonic Menu into the trash while inwardly banging my head over and over again on the side of the car.
And THAT is why you should never visit the car wash without wearing a bra.
Remember when I said I was leaning more towards dark colors this Fall?
Here in Oklahoma it’s almost impossible to wear orange without being accused of supporting OSU. Since this would be an abomination in my family let me just make my public statement now: this dress is not an OSU dress. It is a celebration of Fall and all things pumpkin pie. Thank you.
Speaking of Fall, the weather is actually being acceptable this year, giving us some truly great thunder storms with glorious cold fronts and even a few blustery winds. Not that I’m ready for the 20′s or below days, but it’s kind of nice pulling out the extra blankets and hot chocolate already. I would almost say this weather is tempting me to try my hand at baking a pumpkin pie, but we all know what I really mean. ( Two options: BUY ONE, or finagle my mother into baking one. Please mom? Since I’m so feeble and weak these days, innocent face?)
ASOS dress// 7th and West necklace// Steve Madden bag// Target socks// Shoe Dazzle booties
So it’s been almost three weeks since my surgery and I can officially say that one of the hardest parts about this entire process has been….my bathtub.
Guys. I MISS my tub! At this point I’m not allowed tub time due to my incision but even once that is healed I’ve been cautioned not to spend too much time soakin. I keep finding myself wandering towards my bathroom and then stopping, confused and sad as I sit on the tub edge and gaze longingly at the drain stopper.
If you know me at all you know that bathtubs are my safe haven. I do my best thinking in my tub. I’ve been known to take multiple baths in one day, if it’s been a particularly stressful day or if I’m just feeling low. I grab a good book, possibly a snack (no judging), turn on the heater and stuff towels around the crack at the bottom of the door. I’ll toss some bath salts in or possibly a little shampoo if I’m out of salts and fill the tub to the brim with water just shy of scalding.
A few hours later my family will be banging on the door to pull me back from whatever literary world I’ve become lost in. I’ll step out, withered toes and red legs, and my family just shakes their heads. They know that my tub is my comfort zone. They also know that if I’ve been in the tub the white cheddar cheetos are probably all gone.
But no, those days are now behind me. For now. But don’t be confused, I will be indulging myself just as soon as I get the OK! There’s some fantastic Bath and Body Works aromatherapy bath products that are callin. my. name.
and why yes I AM wearing plaid leggings. I can’t decide if I should play some bagpipe music or pull out some nineties grunge. and by nineties grunge I mean Hanson because the 90′s were my formative years and guys Hanson was my JAM.
Warby Parker sunnies c.o// Old as dirt Jean Jacket// ASOS tee// Target leggings// Forever 21 flats// TJ MAXX wallet
I found this from Chelsea and since Myspace is apparently having a rebirth (womp wooomp in my opinion) I decided it was appropriate to steal and enjoy. I also dug up my old Myspace account and this is my profile pic. Apparently I was really into crazy edits. And dear Lord is that Ed Hardy? good grief. OBVS before my blogging days ;)
three items you will always find in my bag:
a pen, probably pink or glittery or both, my planner, and about 50 different kinds of chapstick
my favorite guilty-pleasure is:
lays and french onion dip. I will eat the entire bag.
if i could have lunch with anyone, who would it be?
Gosh this one’s hard. I’d probably say Audrey Hepburn, she was so utterly fascinating!
my favorite song lyric is:
All Sons and Daughters:
Light, Glorious Light, I will go where You shine
Break the dawn, crack the skies, make the way bright before me
In Your light I will find all I need
All I need is you
the piece of clothing in my closet that i have had forever is:
my jean jacket
my favorite children’s book is:
Oh gosh I LOVE books so this is a toughy. Probably Little Women, the Romana Quimby Series, Little House on the Prairie, and the much more recent Eloise :)
i am currently reading:
Emma for the upteenth time. I just love it so dearly.
my favorite place to be is:
napping with Jared :)
one thing on my bucket list i haven’t done is:
get a tattoo (hey Chelsea we’re twins!)
my bringing-down-the-house karaoke go-to song is:
bahaha I sang karaoke once and it was appalling. I was forced to sing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by a creepy old man. It was horrendous.
i am afraid of:
currently? the godzilla size grasshoppers that have infested Oklahoma like the friggin biblical plague.
If ever you would like for the rain to stop just ask me to wear appropriate rainy weather attire. It can be a 90% chance it will rain at some point that day but if I wear rainboots then by golly you aren’t going to see a single drop of moisture.
HOWEVER if all wellies could be as cute as these Joules rainboots for women, I think I’d wear them in the middle of a draught. These boots are cute, sturdy, and COMFY. Plus Joules is based out of the UK and we all know that while the UK may have crap TV shows and know next to nothing about serving Dr. Pepper in appropriate places (I.E EVERYWHERE), they do know a thing or two about rain and the footwear thereof.
Also can we talk about my cute socks for a minute? These darby lace socks are PERFECT boot socks. They’re thick and comfy on the bottom but cute and slick on the top so they’re easy to slide into tight boots or wear under jeans. And if lacey tops aren’t your thing, they also come in a basic style sans lace. It’s hard for me to understand why anyone would NOT want bits of lace sticking out the top of their boots but I am aware that not everyone agrees with my style choices ;)
And since this post has now officially become advertisement central, can we just add in the fact that I’m 100% OBSESSED with the entire Sonia Kashuk line of lipsticks at Target? Each time I buy a new color I’m convinced I’ve found my favorite. They last forever and never leave your lips feeling dry or flaky.
I am THE WORST at brining home work with me. As in literally, bringin it home, feeding it dinner, tucking into bed, and having crazy dreams about it.
When I worked at Lucca, a local fashion boutique, I had the same recurring dream/nightmare every christmas season. I was in the store, there was a crazy big crowd, and I couldn’t find the cash register. I would wake up every night groping around on my bed mumbling, “where is it?! i can’t find it, where is it?!” I also used to wake up CONVINCED that I had forgot to go to the bank and therefor had thousands of dollars floating around in my car somewhere.
I”m currently in the middle of planning a major conference at my office so my dreams have become quite fantastic lately. They run the REM gamut, from Russell Crowe is trying to register for our event and I can’t figure out how to spell his name, to I can’t find my hotel room so I end up sleeping in the maid’s laundry basket.
You think this is a joke, but it is the sad sad truth my friends. The week of our conference I will be partaking in my good friend Tylenol PM every night or else I will fall asleep reliving every conversation I had that day and then wake up in the bathtub. This also happens if I watch TV late at night, go somewhere new, have an argument with someone in which I couldn’t come up with the proper comeback until hours afterwards, or I eat pizza at night.