Glossary

I frequently use words in my blog posts that aren’t necessarily common phrases. In fact, sometimes I use words that actually mean something totally different from what I’m using it for. It’s the prerogative of the blogger to use whatever the heck words I want, mmkay? But to keep things from being too confusing, I’ve made a glossary of all “kaleigh-isms”. You’re welcome.

Bahaha- A jumble of letters that is meant to imply that I am currently laughing hysterically and in a loud manner. Most people used LOL but I find that this is too mundane to describe my personal laughter and BAHAHA is much more accurate.

Bless-
an exclamation of feeling derived from the saying, “bless my soul” or “bless your heart”. Depending on the context, this could be annoyance, as in “that guy just cut me off, BLESS!” or it could be condescending like, “oh honey no that doesn’t match, bless your heart”, or it could be mushy gushy feelings, like, ” my puppy just sneezed super cutely, bless!”

Crohn’s Disease- a lovely disease that I was diagnosed with in the summer of 2013 and subsequently chopped my colon out because of side effects from the disease. It usually involves a lot of stomach pains, nausea, anemia, and medication but I’ve been singularly lucky (and blessed!) to have had surgery extremely early in my diagnosis and treatment and have since had very few problems. If you’d like to read the whole story click here

Der: Derived from the word, “duh”, der is used to reply to an obvious question or statement. As in, ” your hair is really dark”. DER!


Doo Da-
an item with an unknown title, or an item that I feel needs a little bit of umph to it’s title. Something like, “I love this bobby pin doo da, it’s so cute!” or “I don’t think that choppy doo da can go in the dishwasher.”


Fanks-
Thanks. As in Thank You. Really, couldn’t you have figured that one out?


Guy-
Any inanimate object. Usually an item I found cute. “This little hat guy is so precious!” This can also be a term for the human of the male persuasion. (der)

Gutty Works- your insides. your guts. this one is c.o my Jared guy. You might sometimes see me call it my innards.


Hers/ Hims:
A truly obnoxious habit I have of using the (wrong) plural version of a term to indicate a person. Examples: “Hims shoes are quite hideous, bless.” or “hers sure got a lot of makeup on!”


Hicksville-
A town that is considered country. The sticks. Any place that doesn’t have it’s own gas station or cell phone reception. If a hot night on the town involves cow tipping or jumping in the lake, you’re in Hicksville. If you can name over 75% of the town population. If you are related to 75% of the town population.


It
- Me. Myself. I, if you will. Yes, I call myself It. As in, It is very tired, it would like to go take a nap. This is most commonly used when it is talking to it’s sister.


Shut the Front Door- 
A more polite expletive to be used in place of…well I bet you can guess. I have to be careful with this one, people tend to jump to conclusions when I say, “shut the front” and wave their hands in alarmed horror before I can finish with, “door”.


Tornado Alley-
A (much deserved) nickname for the area of the United States in which I dwell.  No definite geographical location has been named for this area however general consensus is Kansas, Oklahoma, and Northern Texas. Since these states tend to have a very boring reputation, I like to jazz things up a bit and say I live in Tornado Alley rather than Oklahoma.


Parental Units-
The humans who were influential in my birth. Commonly referred to as mom and daddy or madre and padre.

Presh- Short for precious. I know, it’s annoying, but I can’t seem to stop myself.

You’re making me weak- A response to a question/statement/action that is particularly ridiculous, stupid, or getting on  my nerves. For example, you might make me weak if you are driving 15 miles an hour on the highway. You could also make me weak if you show up to the DMV without any of your necessary paperwork organized and on hand, thereby making me late to work because I’m having to wait on you to move it along. If you are being particularly ridiculous, like when my brother tells me he’s sweeping the floor by walking over it with socks on, I might become so theoretically weak that I succumb and have to lay down on the floor, in which case I would then inform you that, “I’m laying on the floor, I’m so weak”.

Wonky- Something that is off kilter. Catywompous. CROOKED. This could also be something that looks a little off, like something is missing. “You’re outfit is a bit wonky, maybe you need a scarf.”

 

 

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