My doctor is quite modern: an update of sorts

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Are you tired of me talking about surgery and health updates and gutty works related news? Because I’m getting there. But the public demands an update and I cannot ignore my public! le sigh (i’m kidding, in case you’re new around here…when I say public we all know I really mean out of state family and random friends that don’t see me enough to ask me about my innards to my face. But I digress!)

I’ve had two questions asked of me quite a bit so I thought I’d answer them here! On the internet! In public! yea! My sharing capacities shock even me sometimes. What can I say, I just have a big heart and want to share with everyone! I’m digressing again.

1. How do you hide your tootie bag thing?

Actually I thought that would be a lot harder than it’s turned out to be. Lot’s of dresses and loose shirts, to be sure. I also took the advice of my nurse (whom I call Osteo-Sheri) and bought this kind of corset/spanx like contraption that Tootie is supposed to fit into and help keep things smoothy smooth. I also wear quite a few tank tops or slips under my clothes. I’ve been told ( by quite a few people, really it was surprising) that they have looked for Tootie in my posts here and haven’t seen anything. Mostly that’s because I don’t post those pictures but for posterity’s sake:

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that’s about all you’d ever see in a picture. She stays tucked in my pants if I’m wearing any (ooer) or tucked into the spanx contraption if I’m wearing a dress. and no I don’t believe I will be sharing an actual picture of Tootie on here. Yet. (i know mom, i know, calm down.)

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#2 What is your diet? What are you able to eat?

Ah the diet question. And here is where my post title comes in: When I first had surgery I was given a pretty weird diet: no raw veggies, no whole grains or oats, avoid red meats, no nuts, no caffeine, etc.It was basically like the complete opposite of anything any nutritionist would tell a normal person. Weird. I stuck with this fairly well the first month or so (I drank a few Dr. Peppers, come on we’re talking about ME here) by eating lots of soups, mac and cheese (a real difficulty for me wink wink) and fish, along with my yummy Kize bars and the occasional Ensure.

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I had a checkup with my specialist a few weeks ago and he basically told me to throw the diet out the window. Apparently the concept that my innards cannot handle certain foods is super antiquated research and he gave me the leave to eat whatever the heck I wanted.

So right after my appointment I had sushi for lunch. I’ve also been drinking dr. pepper like it’s going out of style, I had the skins on my baked potato, I had kidney beans in some chili, and I’ve ate shredded wheat cereal for breakfast. And: I haven’t once had a problem. With any of it. My stomach didn’t hurt, I didn’t get nauseous, and everything came out…er…as normal as things are supposed to come out these days. So if anyone is out there dealing with Crohn’s or had their colon removed: eat it all sister. And don’t blame me if you have any problems.

I have my second surgery in January and while I’m definitely ready for this chapter of my life to be over, it really hasn’t been as difficult as I was made to believe. Sure it’s not necessarily fun, and I’m still dealing with some muscle pain and fatigue, but I’m pretty confident I can handle it. At least for another month and some days. Especially since I can eat sushi and drink dr. pepper with out fear of gutty-blocks! YAY!

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5th and Elm hat// Forever 21 sweater dress// Shoe Dazzle Booties (thanks Nanny and Poppy!)

Smile

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Lately I have come to the realization ( or maybe I’ve just come to appreciate this realization more, since this isn’t a new concept) that a smile can smooth over many a strange/awkward/embarrassing/weird/enter-your-own-descriptive-word-here situation.

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Catch someone looking strangely at your outfit one day? SMILE!

Awkwardly walk out of the single stall restroom to a 15 person pile up? SMILE!

Someone asks you, “so…you had surgery…are you like…normal down there anymore? SMILE! (or grit your teeth in semblance of a smile, whatever) (in answer to this question: ] What do you think I have down there, a circus? Did they sew it shut? Dye it pink? NO! I’m a fully functioning female, not a science experiment.)

Listened to the weather man and wore a beanie when it was NOT 30 degrees but actually 75? SMILE!

Drove the last motorized scooter past an old man with a cane? SMILE! and drive off quickly! (or as quickly as you can in those stupid things, sacreBLEU I could crawl faster than most of them)

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Yes my friends, I do believe the quote of the hour (not day or week or year because Lord knows I’ll have some other strange thing happen that needs it’s own quote/theme song) is this:

Smile: it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Or if you’re mentally deranged. Whichever.

IMG_6073Warby Parker glasses// H&M tank and cardi// Urban Outfitters shorts// Sam Moon scarf// Target socks and boots

 

 

My Body is a Magic School Bus Episode

alternate titles for this post:

Don’t be a whiney, check your hiney (a quote from a colonoscopy support page that was much funnier when I was coming out from the procedure rather than gagging my way through albino bat poo)

I’ve got an old man’s colon, what have you been up to?

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been a little MIA. If you hadn’t noticed then I do believe I need to step up my complaining and exaggeration levels because that’s just sad when I claim to be so good at it. (if you’re interested, you can read here, here, here, and oh look a pic here)

To take a very long story and make it interesting, I have been dealing with ickness for, well almost the entire summer, but it’s been the most intense for the past two months. Things eventually came to a head on Monday when I was hospitilized for IV steroids and nutrients due to not being able to eat and (unbeknownst to me) developing a lovely bacteria on top of everything else I was dealing with.  So sorry for the silence here in Blogland! Apparently hospitals do not understand the importance of wireless internet.

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that’s not pee, I promise. Apparently nutrients are yellow. who knew

My doctor (who is a gem of a character. He’s one of those salt and pepper guys with an enviable pair of nerd glasses who seem much MUCH  taller than they really are (but then most people do when you’re laying on a bed 95% of the time you see them.) He’s a fellow fan of hand gestures and likes to use completely obvious statements like, “stay right there” when I’m strapped to an IV and “don’t get bored” when he just told me I”ll be laying in a bed for  days on end. Things that on anyone else would probably make me want to throw something at his head but the man has seen my colon and has used the water faucet to describe levels of bowel movements, so I let it slide. And also, the hand gestures. I just feel a kindred spirit to excessive hand gesturers.

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I shall be burning my piggy house shoes after this. i’m not allowed to burn the hospital room so my house shoes will have to work instead. 

Any who, said dr has tentatively diagnosed me with some form of colitis, possibly ulcerative or Crohn’s disease, we’ll know more in the coming weeks. Remember a few weeks ago when I wasn’t blogging? Well I had started some meds to help get my innards under control and things would have been movin along fine and dandy if I hadn’t contracted this additional bacteria which made it utterly impossible for me to eat more than a piece of toast and made walking from my bed to the living room a feat of impossible proportions. So IV steroids and nutrients were proscribed, along with a nasty little pill that seems to cause more side effects than the actual bacteria but apparently it’s the only option. Medicine will forever confuse me.

If you are unfamiliar with either these lovely diagnosis’, let me give you an explanation via a conversation with my innards:

Hey Ka! So you’re in an intense time at work? Planning a wedding? Got a lot going on? That’s cool. Hey just FYI, I’m now going to twist myself into impossible knots and cause you all types of stomach pains and nausea. I’m also going to tell ol Colon here to swell to double his size! Fun right? You won’t know what the heck is happening but you’ll know something isn’t right when you can’t go a day with out gagging up stomach bile! You’ll also have intense stomach cramps, break out in cold sweats randomly, and your Anemia will sky rocket so high that you’ll look like you’re trying out for a Twilight movie! Because of this, you’ll pass out when you try to stand up and you’ll have so little energy you’ll need to take a nap after brushing your teeth! Are you ready? Let’s go!

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Sounds fun right? For someone who NEVER EVER got sick, this sure has been one long adventure! However I’m truly NOT the type of person to sit around and bemoan my life (I’d like to think I’m more of the witty, ironic type that meets life with a certain savoir faire but I just giggled at myself for just typing that out so, well there you have it). Things could be so much worse; at least I have a colon to wreak havoc!

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And just for the sake of putting it all out there and this is my blog i’ll say whatever the heck I want: the prep for a colonoscopy and a CAT scan are MUCH WORSE than the actual procedure. I have ZERO memory from that lovely invasion of privacy. I remember being wheeled into a room and then I remember waking up sitting at my kitchen table eating a taco that evening. BUT my gag reflexes sure do remember that prep juice! My only tip for surviving colon and CAT juice? Indulge in a few creative words. Childish, yes, but creating different disgusting names for the wall paper paste they had me gulping down was a great distraction.  There’s no way around it, you have to drink the vile concoction, so just forget about your grandma’s disapproving face for a minute and curse like a sailor as you drink your mildewed mayo and milk sludge.

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That, my friends, is a PICC line. and it is currently residing in my upper arm. It’s kind of intense, I avoid looking at it. 

So for now I’m stuck in the hospital till (cross your fingers) Monday and from there…I don’t know. A few weeks of testing out medications and another god awful privacy invasion are scheduled to see where to go from here. While this is not technically the diagnosis I hoping for (my dad was thinking I might have swallowed a Mcdonald’s toy as a kid and it was just now showing up. Dads.) I’m thankful that I was brought to a doctor that was able to see the signs quickly and get me the help I needed to get up off the bathroom floor. I’m thankful for a precious family that covers me daily in prayer, a job that understands and truly cares about my well being, and a fiancé that is the absolute definition of my rock and help meet. and OH such sweet precious friends who bring me magazines and chapstick and smiles and who don’t freak out when they have to continue a conversation while I gag into the trashcan. God BLESS my friends.

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this picture makes me cry every time I look at it. Jared is in the middle of opening up the plant stand for the fall season but he has still been coming to see me every evening and staying till all hours of the morning, holding my hand and praying for me when I was crying my way through stomach pains. My parents have also been coming up every morning and sitting with me, being a constantly cheerful front and support. I just couldn’t be more blessed in my family. 

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baby sister brushing my hair after I was finally allowed a blessed shower, thank you Jesus. Although hospitals do not seem to understand caring for your hair, just cleaning it. No conditioner, just wash that junk and get it. According to Karianne my hair felt like an American Girl doll that hadn’t been played with in 20 years. She was not lying. 

I hate to think I might ever take my life for granted but it’s true: sometimes we need a kick in the small intestine to make us appreciate our blessings. I’m not sure what all will be happening over the next few weeks but I do know that I believe in a God much bigger than all of this. That He is in control, even when I feel totally overwhelmed, and that He is caring for me and preparing the future in ways that I will never even begin to understand.

So be patient with me Blogland! Things will definitely be crazy and sporadic around here for a while, but we’ll get it figured out!

Layer UP!

Nordstrom scarf (gift)//Target sweater// French Connection dress worn as a skirt (old, previously worn here where I look like a 12 year old)// Target boots (old)

For those of you who watch How I Met Your Mother, my post title is an attempt at a joke inspired from Barney. I know. It was a pathetic attempt.

But the point still remains: I LOVE layers. In the Fall and Winter it is my number 1 tip for anyone trying to make a closet stretch to cover all seasons. You save money by utilizing items you already have (like a dress for a skirt) and it helps keep you warm. A Win Win for everyone.

Is my sweater sacreligious?

Target sunnies// Seams to be snood// Max & Olivia’s cross cutout sweater// Target leggings// Target flats// 7th & West bangles

I wasn’t too sure of this sweater when I got it in the mail. I mean, hi hello, there’s a huge cross on my back. Does that seem a bit strange to anyone else?
But then I realized how utterly comfy and cozy the sweater was, and how it was just the right length to wear with leggings. I also decided the cross kind of made the sweater a bit quirky so I just went with it. And ended up wearing it like, 3 days in a row. I know. Judge me all you want.
I’m having a hard time concentrating on writing out this post because my sister is on her way! YAY! My sister and brother in law will be with us for a week and a half and I am SUPER excited. I miss my sister more than anyone could have told me I would have. If someone could go back and tell my 15 year old self that my big sister would some day end up being my best friend, I probably would have laughed right in their face. But apparently miracles do happen. Girls can get along. Sisters can stop fighting long enough to realize that they’re best friend has been sleeping in the room (or bed) next to them all their life.
And now she’s finally here! EEEK!
 

It’s Friday, Friday…

Forever 21 jacket and Scarf// Target Dress// Primark Tights (thanks Carls!)// Shoe Carnival boots

Oh hey, look it’s that leather jacket that I wear every single day. Don’t believe me? How about 1/2/3/4 and oh ya 5.

Yay it’s Friday!!! This weekend I plan on COMPLETING my Christmas shopping. I think this is the first year that I’ve ever come close to finishing this early. It helps that my siblings and I decided to just draw one name each for gift giving this year. Does anyone else do that? It makes it so much easier, you have so much more time to hunt around for that perfect gift. And since we’re all broke, it’s kind of nice not to be worrying that everyone will notice their gifts are from the dollar bins at Target. (you know you do it too. That stuff is just so cute, it’s irresistible!)

And I know I have been remiss in announcing the Shabby Loves Chic winner. I apologize. Click HERE to see if you won!

Have a wonderful weekend friends!

 

 

Back to Black

old hat// Warby Parker glasses// Forever 21 jacket// Lucca sweater// Pacsun pants// Shoe Carnival buckle boots// 7th & West bangles

Good morning friends! Today is Thursday, which means it’s the Coast to Coast Challenge day! This is my first time to participate, if you haven’t checked it out yourself you can do so here. It’s a pretty fun idea!

Wearing all black makes me think of two things: one of my best friends,Lauren, who frequently rocks the all black look; and Amy Winehouse. Hence the title of this post.

Random things about this outfit:

I’ve had this hat since the dawn of time. I have no clue where it’s from, but I keep it because it’s just so stinkin comfy.

Also, my sweater has gone in and out of the giveaway pile for about the last 5 years, no joke. I always get to a place where I don’t like it anymore and I’m going to give it away, and then I find one more way to wear it and I keep it. I guess I just need to give in and keep the stupid thing for forever.

I wear these pants at least twice a week. No joke. I frequently get asked where I shop (working on that post!) and how often I shop, since it looks where I’m wearing different things in all of my posts. Au contraire my friend. I’m flattered that you think these same pants look different every time I wear them, but believe me it’s the same pair every time. I bet I have a smaller closet than a lot of folks out there!

Yay for Thursdays! Thursdays mean Friday is almost here and Fridays mean a short day at work, which means the weekend is here which means SLEEP! and Christmas shopping! And having a social life past 8pm! YAY!

 

 

 

 

The Rambler’s Christmas Wish List

a new computer (since I don’t actually have one, I just mooch off of everyone else)// pink mittens! I love these extra long ones, so your wrists don’t get chilly ; )// a leather baseball hat. So I don’t feel like such a frump// red pants. I would also accept leather pants// Gigi. It’s one of my favorite movies ever, but somehow I don’t own a copy // a new watch // Lily Pulitzer perfume. I just love this clean scent! My sweet Aunt Gigi got me hooked :) // chelsea ankle boots. They’re so weird they’re cute. // a new chambray shirt// a new journal. I love these Papaya Art ones!

Yay for Christmas!

These are a few of my least favorite things

Warby Parker glasses//Forever 21 sweatear//Target jeans and flats// Gap trench// borrowed necklace// Makeup: Revlon Cherries in the Snow// Hair: super dirty ;)

Do you ever get in those moods where suddenly LOTS of things are irritating you? I don’t really have many pet peeves, but occasionally things will just start to rack up until I feel like I could shake a baby, I’m so annoyed. So here’s my list of current irritations. Enjoy

- The flippin’ weather. It’s DECEMBER folks. And it’s 77 degrees today. SEVENTY SEVENS DEGREES. What the heck?! That’s not Christmas weather!

- The fact that it’s psychically impossible for me to be on time to work on Mondays. Seriously, it’s like my head is wired to unconsciously turn my alarm clock off and prevent me from being a model employee. Or at least that’s what I’m going to tell my boss.

- my hair. I’m seriously this close to cutting the whole stupid mass off. I wanted long hair for the wedding, but it’s so dry and unruly that I just want to give up, especially since I don’t feel like it’s grown in like a year.

- people who stand uncomfortably close to you. Listen, lady at Hobby Lobby that stood behind me in line. Being close enough to sniff my hair ain’t gonna get you to the cash register any faster. Back off my personal space before I elbow you in your gut that’s resting on my back. AWKWARD.

- Sonic employees who are unnaturally slow on the drive through intercom. What what WHAT are you doing that is taking so long to respond? All I ordered was a Dr. Pepper with extra ice. After I finished reading War and Peace, the chick got back to me with my total. I try to be more patient with people that I know just started their job, but this girl had no excuse. Believe me, I go to that Sonic all the time, I’ve started to recognize them.

- Speaking of Dr. Pepper, it is NOT the same thing as Mr. Pibb. Mr. Pibb is a sad, pathetic excuse for a true DP, don’t try to trick me with an imposter. I KNOW the difference. And do NOT roll your eyes at me when I ask you to change my drink because you failed to tell me you didn’t have Dr. Pepper.

and last but not least (actually not last but I don’t want to keep harping on and make you guys hate me, so we’ll just stop at this one ;))

- LAUNDRY. I HATE doing laundry. It’s my own fault, I fully realize this, because I put it off till the very last minute and then my room is over flowing with dirty clothes and it takes me all day to do the laundry BUT. I still hate it. It’s so irritating and after about the 3rd load, I just want to set it all on fire.But no, now you have to fold it all or hang it all up and put it away. and do it all again in about 2 days. KILL ME.

So there you have it. Proof that I need a vacation. And a personal maid. And possibly some drugs. It’s cool. You know you guys have those times as well, I’m just the only one crazy enough to write it out for all of Blogland to see.

DON’T FORGET// today is the last day to enter the Shabby Loves Chic giveaway!

 

 

 

 

 

A Fancy Guest Post with Shabby Loves Chic!

Today I’m so excited to introduce you to my big sister! YAY! Wish her a happy early birthday folks, her birthday is on Friday :)

Hello there! I’m Courtney and I have a lovely little blog called Shabby Loves Chic, I also happen to be the Rambler’s older more fabulous sister! {hardy har har}

I thoroughly enjoy shopping (duh!) and buying gifts for others, but what I really love is wrapping them! There is something so exciting about watching someone open a gift that you put time and effort into wrapping for them. I have a completely out of control collection of ribbons & tulle – but in my book, you can never ever have too much.  In keeping with the “never have too much” theme, I like my gifts to have as much ribbon & tulle as humanly possible. It might be a southern thing…big hair, big gift wrapping. Not much for simplicity around here. I decided it would be fun to share my recent favorite gift wrapping finds here on A Rambling Fancy since the holidays are about to be in full swing! 



Now for the fun part, where you can find these beauties!

moondust petite tinsel
french vanilla wired pompoms
festooning ribbon
etoile velvet ribbon
shimmery baker’s twine
chartreuse pom pom garland
chenille velvet ribbon
pearl wire ribbon
fairy tale tinsel ribbon

Honestly, I’m drooling. How adorable are these?!! And we can’t forget how sweet & precious their names are either. Who wouldn’t want to buy something called moon dust? fairy tale tinsel? Yes please! Get to shopping & happy holidays!
Yay for sisters! In other exciting news, Court and I have a blog series we’re working on! So check back soon! We’re so excited! AND SLC will be hosting a giveaway here on Friday! Make sure and check back, you don’t want to miss out!
Happy Tuesday!